Choosing Joy Over Rejection
Continued from the previous post - I woke up around midday yesterday, after pulling an all-nighter. It was extremely strange to go to bed at 8am on a Monday. Ending your “day” while everyone else began theirs felt awkward. However, I remember feeling incredibly productive and pleased with my deliverables.
I’ve done all-nighters before where I would just do the bare-minimum because I’d be so exhausted. This time was different. This was an opportunity that I wanted to intentionally give my all, and I did.
Starting my day in the afternoon felt like I was living off the grid. 2pm became the new 9am for me and I felt incredibly rebellious. I had planned to spend the day at home catching up on my schedule, but then I received an invite to join my cousins for a late lunch. And I was so happy I did.
It was one of those lunches where the conversation was simply joyous. Over delicious food, we discussed so many interesting topics and sat for hours, in no rush to leave. Moments like these are always precious but experiencing this during the pandemic is an absolute treasure
Even though I was running off a few hours of sleep, I felt incredible. I had a productive night and a perfect social outing. When I returned home, I began catching up on the notifications I missed on my phone.
I received a response from my client who was pleased with the work I delivered, but expressed we wouldn’t be moving forward with future projects. I was shocked. This project was part of a trial run, but I thought I did exactly what he had asked.
Immediately, I started to feel rejected. And it didn’t help that he was so positive in his delivery of not wanting to work together. He expressed how he appreciated my thoroughness and research behind the subject area but didn’t provide details as to why he no longer needed my services.
I wasn’t sure how to feel after I read that. Usually, I can match up the response I anticipate from others based on my level of effort. In this case, I had miscalculated.
The enthusiasm and high I felt from day started to fade. I had another project to work on but felt unmotivated at that point. Then, I began to ask myself; does receiving this one critique negate the joy I had been feeling?
I know the answer should be no, but if I’m being honest, I’m still confused. I sent a response to the client expressing how much I appreciated the opportunity to work with him. And as hesitant as I was, I pushed myself to ask him if there was any feedback he’d be willing to share regarding my work. He hasn’t responded and I’m not sure if I’m excited to read what he has to say, but I know it’s what I need to do.
There will be plenty of moments when I’ll feel incredible about my work, while others may not. That doesn’t mean I should crumble. If I can say I gave it my all, what’s there to be upset about? What I choose to do next is all that matters. I can either stay with this feeling of rejection or be curious to understand the other person’s perspective and keep growing. I choose the latter.
