When In Doubt, Work It Out

I wrote this entry in the wee hours of the morning. I planned to post it last night, but found myself dozing off and typing a word every thirty seconds. Without further ado, yesterday’s entry…

Something special happened to me today. It was a day spent with focus and diligence on projects with looming deadlines. Throughout the day, I caught myself having flashbacks to high school where I’d get stress and procrastinate on my work. I was waiting for that moment to kick in. It did, but I worked through it. 

I sit here once again, writing this post at 2:02am from an entirely different headspace than the one I was in a few nights back. I completed everything that I set out to do today. And it feels surreal.

The pride I feel, is not only from the work I produced, but in overcoming the internal challenges I faced. I kept giving myself excuses; I’m not settled at the moment, I haven’t slept much, I need more time, it’s been a while since I’ve worked on a project like this. There were even a few times today when I wanted to call quits and just settle for mediocrity.

However, I understood what was at stake if I gave in for those reasons. I’d ruin all the progress and value I had already put in. I made a commitment, not just to those who trust in my talent, but to myself. I created new opportunities for myself that I believed would help me grow. And worries will creep in, but I shouldn’t be afraid of them. Just because I have doubts doesn’t mean I’ll give in. It’s part of the process and today I learned the value they have.