A Bad Binge

This is the 11th day in a row that I have been writing my daily thoughts. I am reluctant to be proud of myself just yet but at the same time, I have to acknowledge the progress I’ve been making. I am proud of myself. I guess it’s weird acknowledging it today, when I didn’t feel like writing. I wanted to simply enjoy the sweetness of doing nothing. So, I indulged in a deep binge of the show I’m currently watching, Succession.

I was close to finishing the third season when I began to wonder why I was feeling awful. Not because the show was ending but because the show, in its nature, was unpleasant. The storyline, the actors, the cinematography are all excellent but the show is a cutthroat depiction of an unbelievably wealthy media tycoon whose kids are savagely pit against one another in hopes of being named the company’s successor. I feel like I’m writing a review. I think what I realized, after my bad binge, was how much I wrap myself in the storylines of the shows and movies that I watch. I think that’s why we love to watch anything really, because we’re moved by the stories and use it to escape our reality. Stories can be inspiring, scary, happy, funny, dark, and dramatic. It allows us to understand people from complete opposite ends of the spectrum. I am not writing all this to say that I will avoid shows like this, but I’m just observing how much I invested in watching something that was giving me bad energy. And the crazy thing is, I finished watching the season. The curiosity I had to know how the season ended trumped the bad vibes. I write this partly laughing at myself but also in trying to understand how I take care of my energy. It’s also made me realize just how much I’ve consumed and perhaps I need to take a break. I love watching TV, I have ever since I was a kid, but I think I’ve been overindulging for quite some time. A cleanse is in order.